Sailing Is A Man's Game
The words here are all mom's...
Every
swashbuckling pirate knew that a woman on board ship was bad luck. With Maureen
O’Hara and her flaming red hair, Technicolor makeup, white satin off the
shoulder dress with 11 petticoats aboard, there was sure to be trouble. And
there was.
It
has never been said aloud but probably there are those who believe that women
were actually the reason the Titanic went down. After all, look who got saved
and who drowned? [On the other hand who designed a large ship without enough
lifeboats? Women?]
There
are plenty of successful women sailors but they are never allowed in the men’s
locker room where the decisions are made and opinions reinforced. They are
probably not welcome in those dockside bars unless they are ‘working girls’ or bleached
blonde, darkly tanned, great bod women who can sit at the bar, swear like a
sailor and drink like a fish.
But
let me bring this down to a personal level. After all, if this hadn’t been
festering in my brain for ages, I wouldn’t have the need to finally say
something. I must add that what happened to me happened some time ago and maybe
things have improved. But, I suspect, not much.
I
am a Cancer. A water sign. I am not whole unless I am near water. I married a
Pisces. Also a water sign. My youngest son is also a Pisces. Our favorite
pastime was to wander around marinas picking out the boat we would have
someday. One of my other sons is on the cusp of Cancer and he loves water.
Another of my other sons is an earth sign. He built a house with a great view
of land but he also likes water. My fourth son is a fire sign and for some
reason he has no interest in it. They are all great swimmers but that does not
trickle down to wanting to be on the sea, necessarily.
It
all started when we lived in Los Angeles and decided to go down to Marina Del
Rey and look at boats. We ended up buying a small day sailer and arranged to
have it moored there by the water. Easy to pop into on the weekend.
It
was suggested we sign up for a series of lessons. Which we did - my husband and
I and our two youngest sons. One son was in school in Spain. Lucky for him. He
was the fire sign. Our oldest son was away at college but learned to sail by
osmosis like he learned everything else. I mean he just had to look at a boat
and knew how it worked.
So
the lessons began. We learned every aspect of how to handle that boat and I was
as avid a learner as anyone. I bought a small library of books on sailing and
took it all very seriously. According to the instructor I did at least as well
as the others. I was especially good at handling the jib. But I could rig and
reef , handle a jibe and set the centerboard and rudder. I could also handle
the small crane that got the boat off the dock and into the water.
Our
lessons all took place inside the harbor so we did not have to deal with wave
action. At the end we were to go outside the marina, onto the ocean, and have a
class in navigation. I loved navigation. I understood it immediately. However,
when we woke up in the morning the weather report said it would be windy and
stormy. We drove to the marina and I was sure they would cancel the trip. But
no. I try never to put myself in harm’s way because I am a total coward. I was
terrified. There were other students taking the class too but only one of the
other men was also very nervous.
We
set a triangular course: It started well. It was fun to finally sail down the
corridor between the rock walls. Even after we cleared the rocks and were
actually out in the ocean it seemed fine. The weather was not as bad as I
feared. We sailed awhile then they
served lunch. An excellent ham and
cheese with large dill pickles and cokes. I began to relax and really enjoy it.
We had a session in the cabin about reading charts and plotting a course,
recognizing buoys, etc. I could still do it if I had to.
Then
the sea got rougher. Guess who ended up on the bunk beds below taking turns
being ill? The two people who had been afraid. They told us to stay topside but
that lasted about three minutes and we both knew we had to lie down and be
close to the head. I have never been so close to wanting to die and afraid I
would at the same time. So as a sailor I did have one weakness.
From
then on we were happy to just sail around the marina and practice our lessons.
As I said I was good on the jib. But I also proved to be a good duty officer. I
kept a checklist of everything that that needed to be done beginning with
putting our lunch, car keys, wallets etc. in a plastic bag the in a duffle and
tying it down.
My
sister came to town and my son, the macho Leo, volunteered to take us sailing.
I offered to help him get the boat in the water but he said ”Stand back woman.
I will do it.” We got into the boat and I said I would handle the jib but he
said he could handle it all. We started off and immediately the boat started
going in circles. Seems he hadn’t seated the rudder.
Another
day my husband and the boys were going sailing without me. They took my duffle,
put everything in it, set it on top of the bow while they rigged the boat, the
duffle fell into 15 feet of water and they eventually found a diver to retrieve
it so they could get home
I
decided that my husband , my youngest son and I should take the navigation
course offered by the Power Squadron. We attended all the classes and once
again I realized I had an aptitude for it. In fact I was the first one to
finish the final exam. I went out to the hallway where the members, in their
neat blue uniforms, seemed surprised and even more so when I got a 90 on the
test. They asked me if I wanted to start filling out the membership
applications. It asked for my husband’s name and my son’s name but no place for
mine. They said “Oh you can’t join. It is for men only.” My husband got a 91
and my son got an 85. They signed up for a father-son group. I said “I bet they
have a women’s auxiliary to make coffee for the boys.” They did.
For the first meeting of the father-son group I
made them matching Indian style vests and headbands. They went to one meeting
and quit. My dear husband said it wasn’t the same without me.
-Jean Clarice Walsh
Ah, sailing ....
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